Pharmalittle to be Honored at White House
OK, so we lied. It's all part of the same strategy. As the impressive badge on the left (suitable for framing) shows, this blog has been named one of the top 100 pharma blogs. Did anyone know there were that many pharma blogs?
Anyway, a lot of people out there will wonder how we accomplished this. It's simple. We followed basic marketing principles:
1. We promoted the blog for off-label uses. For example, it makes a great eye chart and may help slow the growth of cataracts.
2. We gave kickbacks to everyone on the internet. Really.
3. We buried studies 34, 57, and 105.
4. We changed the endpoints in study 35 and left out the last six months of data.
5. We delayed the appearance of generic Pharmalittle (liloxazorx) through a bunch of nuisance suits.
6. We intimidated people who read other blogs.
7. We hired Key Opinion Leaders like Anonymous to talk us up.
8. We funded studies showing all the dangers of other pharma blogs.
9. We convinced people that failure to read Pharmalittle will result in the end of innovation in the industry and the complete dissolution of life-saving medications.
10. We avoided being bought by Pfizer.
11. There is no evidence reading Pharmalittle leads to weight gain, morbid obesity, and diabetes. And anyone who thinks differently will never find Study 57 anyway.
12. We don't believe in morbid obesity. If you're going to be obese, at least be up-beat about it.
And stuff like that.