Posts
Pharmalittle to be Honored at White House
OK, so we lied. It's all part of the same strategy. As the impressive badge on the left (suitable for framing) shows, this blog has been named one of the top 100 pharma blogs. Did anyone know there were that many pharma blogs?
Anyway, a lot of people out there will wonder how we accomplished this. It's simple. We followed basic marketing principles:
1. We promoted the blog for off-label uses. For example, it makes a great eye chart and may help slow the growth of cataracts.
2. We gave kickbacks to everyone on the internet. Really.
3. We buried studies 34, 57, and 105.
4. We changed the endpoints in study 35 and left out the last six months of data.
5. We delayed the appearance of generic Pharmalittle (liloxazorx) through a bunch of nuisance suits.
6. We intimidated people who read other blogs.
7. We hired Key Opinion Leaders like Anonymous to talk us up.
8. We funded studies showing all the dangers of other pharma blogs.
9. We convinced people that failure to read Pharmalittle will result in the end of innovation in the industry and the complete dissolution of life-saving medications.
10. We avoided being bought by Pfizer.
11. There is no evidence reading Pharmalittle leads to weight gain, morbid obesity, and diabetes. And anyone who thinks differently will never find Study 57 anyway.
12. We don't believe in morbid obesity. If you're going to be obese, at least be up-beat about it.
And stuff like that.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I was a small part of it.
ReplyDeleteJiM
ReplyDeleteOkay, now let is know when you are going to join Ed over at In Vivo.
JimK
PS: At least Ed sent me a tee shirt.
Just a tee shirt?
ReplyDeleteWe offer golf outings in Hawaii!
If you're a CEO, you get your own island if you don't already own it.
I just formed my own Corporation, I am CEO and Chairman of the Board so I will take Maui. If I recall correctly from my misspent youth they offer some of the finast natural medicinal products available.
ReplyDeleteRight on, Justice. I love it!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to us!
ReplyDeleteWhat fantastic news - great job Justice.
Thanks to all our readers and those who voted for us.
I think it won't be long before we can get a helicopter. Anyone want a ride to work?
ReplyDeleteDavid is too modest to mention it, but we have already provided him with a helicopter and what goes with.
ReplyDeleteThe "credit" for this honor goes to our crack marketing department who spared no effort cherry-picking data, suppressing data, appropriating islands, intimidating "obstacles," and buying KOLs.
While Maui has already been given away, we are working on acquiring all of Iceland, which is having its own problems.
Okay I will take Iceland and then go into the Financial Services business. I should be a big hit.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, hit may not be the best choice of words when I mention financial services to the kind and gentle folks over in Iceland.
Justice, Now that we're in the big time... I heard that Pfizer has a really nice copter for sale. It was only driven to and from work. Maybe you remember?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. We bought that copter and use it as a pill splitter. You kinda toss up a handful and collect the survivors.
ReplyDeleteNo need to waste a good resources like a good chopper.